Real Moms Share: Valerie Strohl

by Chantai Snellgrove Print This Article

Valerie Strohl and her daughter, Sarah, provide a quality cooking show for the disability community. The show stars Valerie’s 14-yr old daughter with Down syndrome, Sarah. “It is our desire to promote independence in the kitchen, entice businesses to utilize more universal design options and bring people without disabilities into our fold” Valerie says. The idea was created when Valerie had to make the difficult decision to home school her daughter because she would not engage in her resource classes at school. Valerie is not a teacher, so she found activities Sarah could learn from. She thought this would be more appeasing to her daughter. So, together, they started cooking. That’s when Valerie realized how many skill sets Sarah could learn in the process; math, sequencing, fractions, crossing the midline – you name it. The cooking show offered a simple way to show other parents how to teach their child independence in their natural environment.

Valerie Strohl shares about creating opportunities for independence

Valerie Strohl contributed to this issue’s “Real Moms Share” section. We asked her to give us an insight into herself, as well as into her life raising her daughter, Sarah, who has Down Syndrome. We asked her a series of questions; some serious and some “just for fun”. See what she said….

PARENTING SPECIAL NEEDS: Tell us a little bit about yourself and family.

VALERIE STROHL: My husband, Mike, and I have been married for 22 years. We have three daughters, Claire (19), Rachel (16) and Sarah (14). We also have a Dog – Dallas, and a Cat – Lila.

PSN: Tell us a little bit more about Sarah’s diagnosis and personality.

VS: Sarah has Down syndrome. She is spunky and her greatest strength has always been her social skills. She loves to be with her friends (which doesn’t happen enough) and really is a good cook. I mean that.

PSN: Share with us something YOU, personally, had to overcome by being a mother to a special needs child?

VS: Control and pride. Sarah is my youngest and before she was born, I thought I had it all together as a mom. I was proud of what I had accomplished in our family and our lives. In fact, I actually thought I was responsible for all this family greatness. Suddenly, I have this child who every doctor tells me is going to struggle to fit in, and accomplish goals, and my whole world collapsed for a while. Sarah taught me to give up my need for control and the desire for a family that looked, performed, and acted a certain way. Actually, as a parent, it was quite liberating to let go of both control and pride, although difficult at the time. I’m pretty sure that without Sarah I would have been one of those overbearing mothers.

PSN: What kind of life do you envision for your child’s future?

VS: I envision she will graduate from high school with her class, go to college, get a job, get married and live a very meaningful life. Our family is very close, so I hope we all will live within close proximity to one another so Sarah can continue to enjoy time with her sisters and their families.

PSN: What have been some of your biggest obstacles/challenges raising Sarah?

VS: Trusting my instincts when I’m not comfortable with the status quo for my daughter. I often take a different path than what the school’s or governmental agencies would recommend. For example, Sarah went to a private preschool and did not go to developmental preschool. I homeschooled Sarah this year for Special Education, but she went to school for her inclusion classes. I’m not a big fan of traditional institutional therapy; instead I try to find ways for her to learn in a more natural environment at home, or through life experiences. I always get nervous when I do this, but, to be honest, this is how Sarah’s Kitchen Creations came into existence. I needed to create a new opportunity for Sarah because she did not like school.

PSN: What has school/education been like for your child?

VS: This is a hard question for me to answer because there have been good years and bad years. This year was a really good year because I really mixed it up and tried some new ideas, and the school was really supportive of this change and helped make it successful. I have always had a good relationship with my schools, teachers and administration and I have worked hard at fostering a positive relationship with them. In fact, I think it is just as important as your child’s IEP. The kids have been wonderful for the most part. Most of Sarah’s friends do not have special needs and I attribute this to the attitude of our principal and how this attitude is carried down through the school. At Sarah’s school, all kids are special, not just kids with special needs, and that is equality and it is a beautiful thing to witness.

PSN: How did you come up with the idea of a cooking show?

VS: Honestly, the idea was born out of a solution to a really difficult problem in Sarah’s education plan. In 7th grade, I had to make the difficult decision to home school my daughter because she would not engage in her resource classes. So, she went to school in the mornings for classes with her typical peers and I hired a special education teacher for two one-hour sessions a week. I taught her the other three days in the afternoon. I’m not a teacher, so I found activities she could learn from, thinking this would be more appeasing to her. So, we started cooking. And that is when I realized how many skill sets she could learn in the process. Math, sequencing, fractions, crossing midline – you name it. And the more we did it, the more I thought “this can apply to anything you do with your child”. I decided that the cooking show was the most pleasing format to show other parents how to teach your child independence in their natural environment. I had no idea it would be this popular. I actually thought it was just another crazy idea I had.

PSN: What is something your child does that you’ve come to appreciate as a gift?

VS: All of her euphemisms. They have now become an actual love language in our family. Probably not the best thing to do, but, we all can talk “Sarah” and it brings us a lot of joy.

PSN: Do you have a proud moment you would like to share with us?

VS: Actually, there are a lot of moments where I am proud of my daughter, but, they all seem to focus around her courage. Sarah will pretty much try anything and for that I am truly proud. I know she is afraid sometimes, but, she will still try. Horseback riding, singing in her school choir, taping the cooking show – all of these activities caused her some fear, but, she attempted them anyway and triumphed over her fear. I really have a lot of respect for her for doing this.

PSN: What do you know now that you wished you had known earlier?

VS: That this whole disability thing is really not that big of a deal. It’s different, but that is it. And a “go-to” person for additional help and insight. Finally, our doctors are always a great resource –sharing the latest reports and learnings about CCHS and guiding us through the decision making process.

PSN: Are there any special resources you have found that have helped you on your journey? (local or web)

VS: Other parents – young and old. They are a wealth of knowledge. Plus, I will watch things they do with their kids, that maybe I’m afraid to do, and this will give me the courage to try. That is an incredible resource.

PSN: In conclusion, is there anything else that you would like to share with our readers that was not covered in this list of questions?

VS: I have a saying, “You can’t be equal if you have to be special”. I think as a community, we need to be careful how we present ourselves to the rest of society. If you can figure it out on your own, do it. If you need help, take it. But, don’t assume just because you have a child with a disability that you have to do it the way the “powers-that-be” present it to you. Mix it up. Try things. You might be surprised to learn that your ideas are better than what exists out there today!

PSN: Valerie, thank you so much for sharing with us your experiences and the lessons you have learned raising Sarah.

Read More: Real Moms Share

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This post originally appeared on our July/August 2013 Magazine

Real Moms Share: Valerie Strohl

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