Family: Where Life Begins & Love Never Ends
Family: Where Life Begins & Love Never Ends
I knew I wanted to be a parent my whole life. In my mid-30’s, I realized it wasn’t going to happen “naturally”. Once I decided to adopt, I waited 3 ½ years as a single mom to adopt through the state/ foster care system. During that waiting period, I took any/every class I could find and read every book suggested about caring for special needs children. After that long wait, a representative for the state foster/adoption program told me that there was not a very good chance for me to adopt as a single parent – because the level of needs for kiddos adopted through the state programs was SO great, they believed two parent families were the best fit for their kids.
Of course I was devastated. I felt I had wasted 3 ½ years of my life waiting for something that was never going to happen. However, that truth opened the door for me to realize I should pursue an open adoption through a local, private adoption agency. And, because of the multitude of training I had received to prepare for a special-needs child, I was quickly selected by a birth mom to adopt her baby. The birth mom was a developmentally delayed special needs young adult, so the agency knew her baby would most likely have special needs, too. Within two weeks of meeting the birth mom (who we refer to as a “tummy mommy”), my son was born via emergency C-section, 6 weeks early. Welcome Gabriel! He had a very rough start. His cord wrapped around his neck twice; he had to be resuscitated and he spent several days in the NICU.
Gabriel stopped breathing a few times in the first week after arriving home, and has suffered seizures since birth. He developed life-threatening food allergies at 6-months old following an anaphylactic reaction to baby formula. Gabriel was diagnosed with a Sensory Processing Disorder and “likely” ADHD at age two. We also suspected Asperger’s or high functioning autism (though we are still awaiting a definite diagnosis). Gabriel has definite behavioral, emotional, social and learning delays, and has received services through the local Educational Services District (ESD). He was placed on an IFSP and it transferred to an IEP when he started kindergarten. Gabriel received occupational therapy for several years, and continues to receive hippotherapy.
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