Not Everybody Gets To Go Back To School…Ben’s Story

22 Responses

  1. Avatar Jessica Lynn Gossett says:

    I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Don’t give up the fight. Take them to court. Do what you have to do mama.

  2. Avatar Lana says:

    That is sad! I teach students like this every year. If our school can handle a child with problems, why cannot another school. I suggest you check the laws and make sure you are being treated fairly and lawfully.

    NCLB states that children cannot be left behind. this includes refusing to educate your child. EVERY child in this country is entitled to a free education. This includes the children with disabilities.

    If you feel you are being treated unfairly (and you are), then you should seek a law professional’s advice.

  3. Avatar OneMom says:

    I am crying as I read this. You are an amazing mom. Your school is wrong. I kind of expect this (unfortunately) from other parents, but the school should do better.

  4. Avatar Ms Vickie says:

    The law states a child has to be educated in the least restrictive environment. If his professionals are saying he is ready to return to school I would request they allow him to do that. It does not have to be all day everyday. It does not have to be unsupervised. Maybe he needs a para-educator. A lot of teachers just want what is easiest for them. I was told several times to keep my child home, but I had a team fighting for my child’s rights. Demand his right to an education.

  5. Avatar Stephanie R. Cannon says:

    Everybody has a “story” and yours makes mine look not so bad. I am thankful God saw fit to give your son parents that are strong enough to stand up and fight for what is right for him. Not what is “right” (easier)for the school district. God bless you and your family.

  6. Avatar Carol says:

    Get in touch with local state disability office and a lawyer. .You have a right to give a education for your son and your his voice but the father also has to put in… I have three kids, one is Austim, one third iis fine ….but fight for his rights..

  7. Avatar Anne Masterson Burke says:

    You don’t say what state you live in but your rights and your son’s rights are being violated, daily! please go on and find your state in their yellow pages. There are tons of resources out there. Find a good sped atty and an advocate and get filing! Each state has a department of education and within that umbrella, a special ed compliance dep’t. Contact them about filing complaints as well as your office for civil rights. another place for info is
    FIGHT!! There are many of us out here who have been there, done that who can help……

  8. Avatar jessy says:

    my heart goes out to you. what they’re doing is not only wrong but it’s illegal as well. mental illness can be a crippling disability. it’s not his fault that he has to suffer these aflictions. All children deserve the right to a proper education including those with visible and invisible disabilities. this is blatant discrimination. a good disability lawyer will grab this up in a heartbeat. stay strong mom. we’ll be praying for you both♡

  9. Avatar Kim Daniel says:

    Best of luck in your fight and hope your Son goes well in school with support and help he needs and friends as well with no kids picking on him.

  10. Avatar Liz Allen says:

    I have found that when collaboration does not work filing a complaint and request for formal investigation with your state department of education will get everyone in on the discussion, including your son- who is now old enough to advocate for himself tight along with you.

  11. Avatar Chemistwife says:

    They can’t deny you a public school education. They have to accommodate you no matter what! It is against the law. Don’t let this stop your beautiful Ben from enjoying school. Of course, that doesn’t mean the kids of these awful parents will be nice. I hope it goes well!

  12. Avatar Kimberly D. Dashkiwsky-Short says:

    Let me first start by saying, your not alone! Secondly, you will need the triad of your professIonals (including a private psychologist), a lawyer, and an advocate. It is well documented that typical children benefit from a child with special needs in the classroom. If you persist you will make a positive change not only for your son but also set a precedent for others. The help is out there. Look for your local Arc chapters and advocacy groups. Don’t give up in who you believe in…your son! Best regards from a Mom who is still advocating. 😉
    Ps. We did move for our daughter and advocating never stops. Stay strong and keep the faith…

  13. Avatar JLP says:

    As a teacher I am embarrassed that anyone has approached you like this. Please accept my apology from my profession (and as a mama of two kiddos with special needs).

  14. Avatar Lissa Gilson says:

    Where we live, MA, if the school system you live in fails to provide an adequate solution to your child’s needs, YOU choose an alternative, and they pick up the tab. Including, transportation. I understand the fear of some parents, however, it’s been 2 years. People, especially children! change. Shame on them for not even giving him a chance.

  15. Avatar speddie says:

    Being a Special Education teacher in MN, your story breaks my heart. Ypur district is telling you, this isnt about conveinience, but really it is. Their conveinience of not having a challeging student in school. Im not sure how the laws differ from here, but I teach highly behavioral Autistic students and we deal with very violent behaviors nearly daily. Now, is this challenging, absolutely. Do I like getting hit, bit, scratched, kicked and bitten by 15 year old boys? Absolutely not. However, I love those kids and would never want them to attend elsewhere. Would it be conveient? You bet! Its not about conveinience, its about the student being in school, learning all the wonderful things kids learn while being there! Please look for help, this story seems so unjust, there has to ve a solution. Ill be thinking of your son as our doors to school open Sept 2nd for another year.

  16. Avatar Tracee Hampton says:

    My son showed plenty of problems in a regular school setting as well however Once he was placed in a school that specialized with autism and other disabilities only I have seen such beautiful progress I am so thankful he was placed in this school so please find out your rights and have your son placed in a school that specializes in his disability because everyone has the right to a education good luck and god bless !!!!

  17. Avatar Carol Murray says:

    I agree with Anne Burke. You have to fight. Before engaging an attorney, engage your therapist to visit the school with you to talk with the principal, school psychologist, special ed teachers and work through a modified plan for Ben. I have found that if these people all know I consider all of us part of the team, that I understand it is a challenging job, but I appreciate their efforts, they are willing to help. They should also be able to identify another child or children that can be paired with Ben to help him over the hurdles. If you’re still met with roadblocks, hire an attorney. Make sure that he/she knows the process because if you win this fight, they will have to pay his/her fees. Again, first kill them with kindness – no results – all school districts fear a lawsuit. The threat oftentimes causes a change of heart. The best of luck to you and remember, the results Ben will experience are worth the fight.

  18. Avatar Suzanne Stella Trout says:

    Wow, it’s ok for you to be inconvenienced but not for them to try harder to do their job, also an inconvenience. With than kind of mentality moving would be an option, or a court suit..

  19. Avatar Mom says:

    Thank you for sharing this obviously emotional story.
    I am honestly shocked by this. I am a Canadian homeschooling mom of an eight year old boy with autism. We chose to homeschool, but hope one day to integrate into the school system. I love to homeschool, but would love to see my son walk happily into classrooms.
    Each child should have the right to an education. What would happen if you simply took Ben to school and stayed with him in his class. I imagine that eventually you would be recognized along with Bens needs.
    I agree that if you, your husband, and Ben all want to return, then you need to make it happen. You are obviously Bens advocate, maybe you need one as well.

  20. Avatar Blinda Windham says:

    The program for your child should be at every school in the district or at least at a school within 10 miles of your home. Not fair that you have to get the whole family up just to drive to another school an hour away. It is time your school deals with your child and offers him appropriate services. I have been there from all views, parent, teacher and special ed services.

    You need to get an ARD meeting together with the special ed department and come up with a BIP(Behavior Intervention plan). You will need to bring any documentation you have from his therapist that will help the ARD committee develop a plan to help your child. Do they offer smaller classrooms for children with like behaviors as your son? My son is in a classroom of other boys his age who have the similar difficulties in the classroom. They have a therapist who talks with them once a week in a group setting and the teachers are trained to help the children develop skills to overcome the issues as they arise inside and outside the classroom.

    By the way, I live in Allen, Texas. If you ever do want to move, Allen ISD has one of the best success driven programs for children and they are allowed to use these services all the way to graduation.

    Keep up posted as I would like to know if you are receiving the services you should receive.

  21. What many don’t realise who are telling this mum her rights, although well intentioned, the simple fact is that unless the school is adequately funded to educate the child with special needs, the child will suffer, and what’s Happened to Ben also happened to my son with Down Syndrome. Complete withdrawal from the world, he would only go out to check the mail box, nothing else. He had been shockingly abused at the school he was at – some physical, but the psychological abuse by the teacher and school principal violated basic human rights. It took a year and a half for Jacob to ‘get better’ and after two years, we are seeing real gains. Jacob had shut down so completely, that even the idea of home schooling was impossible… You don’t send your child to school, if it means they are going to be severely hurt there.. The child has rights, yes, and one of those rights is to be protected from those that hurt them, including schools.

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