How to Effectively Communicate on Your Child’s Behalf (Parent and Professional Tips)

Students around a table with a drawing of a graduation cap and words like "Study," "Education," "Homework," and "School.

How to Effectively Communicate on Your Child’s Behalf

I am by no means an expert in this area; however, on the subject of effective communication with a child’s teacher, I have had a great deal of experience on both sides of the teacher’s desk. I was an elementary teacher. I have a child with disabilities who is currently enrolled in the public school system.

There have been children from all walks of life (and all intellectual levels) enter my classroom. They all came with their gifts and challenges. Their respective parents were part of my classroom as well, as I tried to keep the whole family informed on our classroom activities.

Each year, I had several children with IEP’s. They had resource classes for reading and/or math daily.

In addition, some received physical therapy and speech therapy. Although it was not my responsibility to write or execute the IEP’s (the resource teacher’s responsibility), it was my responsibility to make sure everyone communicated with the parent through me.

On the flip side of my role as a teacher, I am also the parent of a special needs child. My daughter has an IEP and is in a self-contained classroom. I was fortunate that she attended the same school where I taught. I’ve since retired to be able to be home with my children and not work outside of the home.

Here are some best practices for effectively communicating with your child’s school and teacher. I’ve learned these after being on both sides of the teacher’s desk.

Make yourself known. Introduce yourself. Communicate (email or on paper)

Introduce yourself in the beginning of the school year to everyone that works with your child, from the Principal to the Teacher Assistant(s). Offer to help the teacher in any way you can, whether it be in the classroom, sending in supplies, etc.

Arrange to meet with the teacher and provide a letter of introduction for your child to the above mentioned people. In that letter, explain any allergies, their likes/dislikes. Anything you can provide to a teacher in writing to tell more about your child is helpful. (Yes, teachers all get the standard forms parents complete at the beginning of the year, but a personal note about your child hand delivered by you enables the teacher to remember your child more specifically).

Get and give email addresses for those people. Keep them informed about what’s going on at home. Sometimes even the smallest thing will be very helpful to them. For example, a sick pet, upcoming birthday, etc. can really distract a child. By advising your child’s teachers, it keeps the teacher informed.

Homework. Do not do your child’s homework for them. 99% of the time, homework is a communication tool that shows the parent what the child is learning in school. Give guidance, but don’t tell them how to do it “your way.” Instead, email the teacher saying your child did not understand the homework. That enables the teacher to address the homework and re-teach it in a different manner.

Read with your child every night. Do not read to them unless they are unable to read. Have patience.

If you are having a challenging time with a teacher, please do your best to work it out with the teacher first. Do keep a paper trail, whether it be emails or some type of electronic note keeping, written (day/date/topic) in a notebook. It is crucial to document all communication about your child with anyone whom is working with them.

In summary, always keep the lines of communication open with anyone who is working with your child, whether it be a religious leader, scout leader, medical personnel, or educator. You are the ultimate coordinator for your child, and it is your responsibility to do so for their well-being.

Maria Corwin Hall

Family Snapshot: My 3 sons, Tristan,10; Jayson, 7; and Nicholas, 5, each have a different diagnosis. Tristan was born with down syndrome, Jayson was born slightly delayed because he was 10 weeks early and my son, Nicholas, has seizures.

Each one of my sons are strong, but they are different from each other. They have a baby brother, Declan, age 3.

Resolution: I have developed several tricks that I frequently use to communicate with the school, teachers, and para-professionals. One of the most important things is not to back down. Do not be intimidated by what they say. Yes, they have knowledge and/or experience, but you are your child’s parent. You are their advocates and their voices.

It’s important to establish a teamwork-based approach to develop plans together. When it comes to getting our children into a school, communicate back and forth what works and what doesn’t. Truly get to know who you are working with. With my two older children, we started to work together right away.

The Corwin Hall Family

One of the ways that we became a team was to have a very “open door” policy. If we introduced something new from home that was working for our children, the other side (school) could help build on it, and vice versa. While we worked out the IEP strength-based plan, we discussed goals from both sides.

We discussed the strengths and weaknesses and how to keep the strengths sustained while improving upon the weaknesses while striving to meet the goals.

We also worked out how to handle the summer break and keep using those practices so that progress was not lost.

We are always in communication with their teachers, para’s, etc… Communication is very important so that we always keep coming up with new goals when older ones are met. We want to keep “strengths strong” and help the weaknesses to get stronger. Our team is one of earned, open trust.

Monique Duell

Family Snapshot: I have 2 handsome sons: Ronald, 16, who has ADHD, and Jeremiah, 13, who has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy (Spastic Diplegia). I am also a caregiver to my adult brother, who has severe autism and Epilepsy. Both of my sons attend school in PG County.

My oldest attends regular high school (and has an IEP), while my youngest attends a special needs school and has an IEP.

Resolution: I was having issues with my youngest son’s school. The staff wasn’t properly diapering him and properly re-dressing him afterward. In addition, they were sending home the wrong clothes, which is very unsanitary!

They even sent home the wrong communication books, folders, and forms with personal info on them, including social security numbers. I was not a happy mother! I addressed this issue by first communicating it to his teacher and paraprofessional in the notebook they send home daily and via email.

Jeremiah on the left and Ronald on the right.

Jeremiah is on the left, and Ronald is on the right.

I thought this should resolve it, but it got worse. His labeled supplies (wipes, diapers, change of clothes) were vanishing, and I was asked weekly to send in more. I was livid when I sent in a tub of 400 wipes on a Monday, and by Friday, they asked me to send in more. I was disappointed, sad, and hurt.

These weren’t new staff members or new to my son, either. He had been attending this particular school for over 5 years. It was time to go to the principal! The principal assured me that these issues wouldn’t happen again! I have a good rapport with the school: I know everyone, and they know us. I was relieved!

I make it a habit of just dropping in unannounced to see if my child’s well-being is still up to par. Remember, parents, we are our children’s voices! It’s not a sin to address whoever is responsible for the abuse or neglect of your children. If it’s not right, it’s not right! Take action!

Monique Duell is the author of “How Do I Handle A Special Needs Child”?

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This post originally appeared on our September/October 2014 Magazine