Today I Cried Special Moments

Special Moments

This morning I woke up early and fixed a very filling breakfast before they headed out. I helped my older daughter scour the house for last minute things she might have forgotten. I handed her the bag of cleaning supplies that I bought for her to tuck in to access as soon as she arrives. The cooler is packed with frozen water bottles and there is a tray of freshly baked homemade cookies I sent for the people who volunteered to help her and her dad unpack tomorrow. I kissed them both. Her sister and I stood in the driveway and waved as she followed the moving van he was driving. I turned and kissed her sister…and I cried.

This isn’t the first time she pulled out of our driveway headed to someplace new. She went away every summer during high school to study ballet with professional companies. She left to dance professionally and to attend college. She left to go to physical therapy school when she finished college. Many of these departures involved following a van filled with furniture and belongings. This one is different; this one is the culmination of years of preparation and dreaming; this one involves a full-time job in another state; this job ticks off all the boxes she was looking for and this move signifies her establishing her own home and lifestyle. We will still be in the periphery, of course, but she is on her own two feet and ready to fly solo.

Her sister and I will follow tomorrow because her sister has to work today. We will get on the road early in the morning and will arrive in time to help her unpack boxes and put some things away. This isn’t her first apartment, and it likely won’t be her last, but this one has a greater sense of permanence than the others have because this one accompanies the beginning of a new chapter of her life.

This is the way it is supposed to be. I have reminded myself of that several times and will continue to do so. My tears today are two-fold: One, she is embarking on her own exciting journey and second, as I turned and kissed her sister, I wept because we will not experience any of this with her sister. This one will not leave home. That bedroom will remain occupied. That is not the way it is supposed to be, but it is the way it is. Today I cried for both of my girls.

Photo courtesy: Kathy Kendall. I am the mother of two daughters. My younger daughter has Down Syndrome. I have retired from teaching kindergarten in public school and am teaching preschool in a private setting part-time.

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This post originally appeared on our September/October 2016 Magazine