Letting Go – Allowing Your Child to Be Independent – Accepting That They May Fail:
You pray, plan, and hope that your child can become independent. However, why is it so hard, when they want to claim it?
My husband called me aside and in a low firm voice said, “You have to let him go and grow! Stop hovering! Let him make his mistakes! Trust that he will select good choices!” I am not sure what annoyed me more, an intervention from my own husband, or the fact that he was right! Oh how I hate it when he calls me out on the mediation mat! After all, whose side is he on?
Yes, it was another moment fit for reality television. My husband was reeling me in. He was reminding me that I needed to release my “Mama Bear” claws from our son. Quite simply, I needed to let go!
Two words sum it up: It’s hard!
I feel like I have spent the past ten years advocating for our son’s chance to succeed. We have sacrificed a lot personally, professionally and financially. We wanted to secure our son’s right to become independent.
Why is so difficult? After all, he can talk, participate in “gen-ed” classes, and has friends on his own?
At this point in his development, I imagined that I would be doing back flips. I also envisioned cutting up the Autism magnet on my car. All of these activities would be done with great glee! Instead of celebrating his acquisition of language, from ages 7 through 10, I am terrified of his confidence and social skills.
Yes, I should be kissing the pastor’s toes for the prayers and the tearful meetings that lead to his confidence and learned compliance. So if its’ all so wonderful, why in the heck am I beside myself? It all lies in the word “control.” Yes, I have proudly advocated like one crazy Mama Bear! I have been keenly set on a warpath for the past 8 years. I am proud of the obstacles and people we have, literally, flattened. It is a battle that I attacked with every fiber and financial resource we had.
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