Starting Your Day off Right: Making the Most of Morning Routines

by Megan Joy, Marcie Handler, & Meme Hieneman

Starting Your Day off Right: Making the Most of Morning Routines

We start each day with two simple words, “Good morning”, in the hopes of giving our children a positive start to the day. Yet, in just minutes, the morning becomes consumed by the necessary tasks – dressing, eating, gathering supplies, and so on. There is SO MUCH to accomplish as we attempt to get out of the house on time. Mornings can be especially challenging for children with special needs since their level of independence may be limited. When given multiple directions at once, they may have difficulty complying quickly or consistently, even with tasks they do every day.

Consider also that our children may be tired and hungry as we bombard them with requests. We may be trying to guide our children through routines and teach them new skills while dealing with competing priorities and attending to our personal needs.

Here are some tips for improving morning routines.

Decide What Needs to Be Accomplished

The first step to improving morning routines is to identify goals and establish expectations. Is there a specific time everyone needs to be ready to leave? What will each child need to have completed? What do they need to take with them? What will happen if we meet/do not meet these goals? Scripting out the morning routine and then sharing those expectations with your family can be very helpful.

Related: [SPECIAL BEHAVIOR ISSUE]

The second step is to analyze your typical morning routine and identify patterns. What happens when the morning routine goes well? What happens when the morning routine falls apart? Identifying these patterns will help you highlight what is working and problem-solve challenges when creating a plan.

Be Proactive and Prevent Problems

Simply put, the more you can prepare, the more you prevent problems and increase opportunities for children to develop independent skills. Here are some possible strategies:

Develop a routine for the morning. Write down all the necessary steps in the order they need to occur for the morning routine (e.g., get dressed, make bed, have breakfast, brush teeth, collect belongings). If you have more than one child, consider who will do what and when. If there are multiple adults or older children in the home, divide responsibilities for aspects of the routine.
Prepare the night before. Pack lunches and snacks, complete homework, get showers out of the way, help your child choose his or her clothing, and perform other tasks that do not need to be completed in the morning.
Allow enough time. Get up early enough to have your personal routines completed before waking the children. Add a few extra minutes for the “unexpected” request or need. Double your estimate for new steps in the routine, especially if you want to practice a new skill (e.g., tying shoe laces, brushing teeth, buckling the seatbelt).
Use visual schedules to increase independence. Gather pictures of each step in the morning routine and put them in order on a piece of cardboard or door jam. Once you have put this in place, refer to the schedule (e.g., “what’s next?”) to promote independence and reduce the need for reminders.
Create an organized environment. Organize your household and store needed materials (e.g., backpacks, lunch boxes, hygiene supplies) in the same location so they may be easily accessed each morning.
Present simple (one or two step) directions. Make sure you have your child’s attention before giving directions. Limit directions to a few words (e.g., “shoes on please”). Allow your child time to attend, process, and comply with directions (e.g., count to 10 in your head).
Offer choices. If your child is having trouble getting started in the morning, try offering choices about how they complete the first few steps to “ease” into the routine (e.g., “do you want to get dressed or use the bathroom first?” or “which outfit would you like to wear today”).
Start the morning on a positive note. Begin the day with a special greeting, a brief conversation about enjoyable things to come, or by embedding something fun (e.g., playing music while the children get dressed).

Teach Skills to Improve Independence

For many children with special needs, the skills required for a successful morning routine may need to be practiced outside of the morning routine to improve their proficiency and speed in completing them. For example, there are many steps involved with selecting clothes, getting dressed, brushing teeth, and tying shoes. You may find it less stressful to teach your child these skills when you have more time and patience. During these practice opportunities, you can set the stage for learning, model skills, prompt success, and provide positive feedback. As your child gets better completing the steps to each task, embed it in the morning routine.

In addition, your child may need skills to function more effectively during the potential chaos of the morning routine. You may need to teach your child to ask for help or more time to complete what they are doing. Some days, especially if they are not feeling well or are more tired than usual, they may need to request brief breaks or special attention. They may also need calming and tolerance strategies such as taking deep breaths or creating a “plan B” when things do not go as planned.

Encourage Positive, Not Problem, Behavior

To encourage success, praise your children throughout the morning. Praise your children as they attempt (“good start”), become increasingly independent (“you are close to doing that all by yourself”), and then accomplish the entire morning routine (“you did it without reminders today!”). For children with special needs, the feedback may need to be more frequent (especially initially) and specific to the activity (e.g., “nice job getting your coat!”).

Make activities fun! For example, you can have your children “beat the clock”, with you timing them as they complete tasks. You can say “If you can get your lunch box and water bottle in your backpack in 2 minutes, you will complete your mission!” This works even if your children do not fully understand the concept of time.

Provide small rewards for successful completion of morning routines. The last step of the routine should be a preferred activity. For example, “on-time departure” means we have a few extra minutes to use an electronic device, play with a favorite toy, play games or throw a ball at the bus stop, or have a special treat. Consider providing the reward in the car or at the destination to encourage successful transitions. Add rewards for increasing success over time. For example, if your children complete the routines on time 5 mornings in a row, provide a special breakfast from the drive-thru on Fridays or allow them to watch a movie in the car.

Final Thoughts on Morning Routines

Morning routines do, in fact, become easier when they become “routine”. Just as breakfast is seen as the most important meal of the day, success in navigating the morning routine can be a predictor of how the rest of the day transpires for children and parents. Using these strategies, we can creates successes and minimize challenges – and if mornings do not go as planned, we always have the next day.

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This post originally appeared on our September/October 2015 Magazine

Starting Your Day off Right: Making the Most of Morning Routines

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