Warrior Mom Irisa Leverette and Her Son, Darius: The King Of Stimming

Our feature article this month is our podcast with Irisa Leverette, a math professor by day and warrior mom 24/7 to her 20-year-old son Darius, also known as Darius, King of Stimming. Darius was diagnosed with autism at the age of 18 months. Through their journey, Irisa has used her platform to challenge stereotypes, raise awareness, and show the world that while autism may be a different road, it can still lead to a beautiful life.

Don’t worry if you don’t feel like reading; you can enjoy the podcast by listening below on YouTube.

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Getting to Know Darius and Irisa: Early Diagnosis & Grief

We first learned about Darius from a reader who said we needed to talk to him and his warrior mom, Irisa, who is raising awareness about autism. Darius is popular among young college kids and has a big following. 

Our reader who told us about Darius is a young person, and when we asked how he felt about Darius’ videos, he told us that “we’re all rooting for him.” 

Irisa told us she was kind of in denial in the early years, feeling hopeless at first. As a parent, you wonder what type of life your child will have and whether people will accept him, not knowing where the road will lead.

Irisa told us that besides the uncertainty and denial, there was a lot of questioning about why, why us, and why Darius. There were moments of grief, and she felt like grieving the child she thought she would have. 

Instead of thinking that your child will become a doctor, lawyer, or teacher, you hear autism and wonder what the future is going to be. Who will take care of him? 

All these thoughts start flooding your mind. Irisa tells us the beginning was kind of hard with that uncertainty, confusion, and worrying. 

Another issue Irisa faced was feeling stuck, like in a box in her own world. She said others don’t really understand you, and everything becomes a routine, a world you are stuck in. It’s all about your child and trying to create the best life for them.

Raising Awareness & Going Viral

We present Irisa’s story in her words (selected and abridged from the podcast):

I started posting pictures of Darius on Facebook and Instagram, and my friends and family would see what I posted about his day. At first, it was a small circle, and I wasn’t really comfortable talking about autism, like coming out and just telling people this is autism.

I started posting more about what Darius did, and then, I met a singer on Instagram and talked to her about making an autism anthem, a song. So we did that and knew we needed to get a bigger audience and let people hear this song. 

I started posting more on TikTok, and so people started asking questions and engaging with us. I thought, “Wait a minute, I can do this.” I started talking more and more about our daily lives. 

People would ask, “What is Darius doing today or at school?” I became comfortable sharing more because people were becoming interested in him. 

Then I thought, “You know what? This autism, like Darius, like the level that he’s on, he has high support needs.” 

Highlighting The Unseen Population

There’s a whole population of people you don’t see. Many people are not familiar with special needs individuals like Darius, who are different. 

There are others like him that people aren’t aware of: the non-verbal, the stimming, or the children who elope (wander or run away from a safe caregiver or environment). 

It’s not the actor playing a doctor with autism on TV who knows everything about dinosaurs and trains and is talkative. That’s not representative of everyone on the spectrum. 

People are learning, seeing, and accepting people with autism who are more like Darius.

There’s also a lack of understanding of what parents go through daily, which Irisa highlights in her posts as she shows him eating breakfast too fast and getting out the door. 

She explains that many times, they’re very smart but can’t always verbalize what is going on, and it’s crucial to slow down to prevent choking in situations like eating. Something in his brain says, “I need to get this food in me.”

Irisa’s advice to parents in situations like this is not to give up. It may not happen today, it may take five years, but as she says, “I’m going to keep working on it.”

Darius: King of Stimming

Irisa tells us that when she takes Darius out, thanks to the videos and posts of Darius stimming, people see him as an individual, a human being, and they treat him like everybody else. They don’t see his autism at first or as an “autistic person.” 

Darius is known for his joyful stimming and does many different things. We asked Irisa when she became aware of it.

I didn’t even realize what stimming was for a long time. When I went back and looked at old videos and pictures of him when he was younger, I realized that he had been doing it for a long time… Darius would hum a lot, and I thought he was just humming—he liked to hum. 

Once I started showing him (on social media), and people started recognizing it too, I had to learn more about stimming myself. I started watching him and learning “him,” what he does when he’s feeling a certain way, like when he’s in the tub, or does this sound when he’s eating.

I got so used to it that I didn’t even hear Darius that much. It’s just like a part of our home. His stimming is so common to me, that’s just what he does. 

People with autism need interaction, and their brains are not getting that interaction. If they’re not doing their everyday routine, if they’re just sitting there, their brains need something to do, so it starts to stim because it needs that input and output. 

Daily Life & Advocacy

Irisa tells us that patience is crucial because Darius will come and say what he wants for dinner the next day 100 times, and she just has to repeat it. Then he goes away, and he comes back. 

But before, she was not patient. It bothered her, but when she realized that if she didn’t repeat it, it would upset him, she realized it was better to just engage with him. And then he’s happy. 

What’s one daily routine or strategy that helps Darius thrive or makes your day go smoother?

Darius loves going to school; it’s a regular part of his daily routine. Every morning at breakfast, we have a little ritual. I ask him, “Today is…” and he finishes by telling me the day. 

Then I say, “You’re going to…” and he proudly replies, “School.” Just before getting on the bus, he always tells me what he wants for dinner that night.

Misconceptions About Autism

We asked Irisa if there were any misconceptions or anything she wanted to dispel about autism.

Darius is nonverbal for the most part, and a lot of people who are autistic are nonverbal. People think that when you are not verbal, you are not able to process information, and you are not thinking.

Just because someone is nonverbal doesn’t mean they are unable to think and process information. That’s the misconception. 

People think, well, if you’re not verbal, you cannot think, you cannot use a computer, you cannot do a job, and you cannot function in life. But that’s not true.

They struggle with communication, but that has nothing to do with their progress or their ability to learn. I want people to start realizing that nonverbal does not mean non-thinking.

Handling Challenges & Meltdowns

As Darius got older, Irisa tried to learn the triggers and things that upset him. 

We can all have meltdowns, but we can control them. As a mom, you learn to pick up the signs and de-escalate before the meltdown. 

Once you know what will trigger your kid, you have to work on it and make the environment safe so it won’t happen. I talk to him a lot and tell him, “We’re going to do this, Darius, and then you’re going to do this, and then you’re going to do that.”

Irisa tells him when they’re going to the doctor, so it’s routine, and he’s familiar with what’s going on rather than trying to hide it. She discovered that surprises didn’t work out well. Telling in advance was better. 

Self-Care for Parents

While taking a big vacation sounds nice, it’s not always possible.  She reminds us there are 24 hours in a day, so there’s always time to be happy, even if you only have 15 minutes for yourself.

Here are some of Irisa’s tips for self-care and keeping it simple:

• Doing math or word puzzles
• Watching TV 
• Having lunch with friends
• Enjoy your favorite candy
• Sit outside on the porch
• Take a small walk or a little trip to the park

She tells us, “You know, our kids become our life. We have to always think about them, their future, all the time, and it’s a lot of worrying. 

But you have to find that time, that mental break for you. You know, even if you need to cry, because sometimes you have stuff piled on you, cry for 10 minutes, and then get back to it, get it out. 

Don’t let that cry build up, because then you’re going to have a meltdown. You’re going to break down.”

Celebrating Darius & Final Words

We asked Irisa if there was something Darius does, maybe silly or small, that fills her heart, and here’s what she told us:

Darius is very affectionate. I don’t know where he gets it from. He’s overly affectionate. But he rubs my hair, pulls me close to him, looks in my eyes, and says, “Mommy is the best.” 

I don’t know where he got that from. No one taught him this, and that’s when I realized that I’m doing something right, that God sees me, that he knows my heart, and that he knows that I needed that.

Her parting wisdom and final words give us all hope:

I just want to tell parents out there, learn your child. Everyone on the spectrum is different. 

But a lot of our kids have a lot in common. They do some of the same routine things, some of the same stimming, but learn your child. Make the book of your child.

The book of Darius is my book. You know, I learned HIM, and I know a lot about him. 

LEARN your child, and it would make the process more enjoyable for both of you. Learn everything, their schedule, what they like, what they don’t like, how they react around certain people, how they react around animals, and their favorite places.

“Just start writing the book of your child!”

Find Irisa and Darius 

Tiktok: @irisa_darius 

IG: @myautismstar 

Youtube:@irisa_darius (Darius Da King of Stimming)

FB: https://www.facebook.com/irisa.leverette

Darius https://www.youtube.com/@Irisa_Darius