How Do You Create or Maintain Peace and Joy During the Holidays?

Mother kissing child on forehead near Christmas tree

How Do You Create or Maintain Peace and Joy During the Holidays?

Parenting Special Needs readers shared with us on Facebook how they create peace and joy in their lives during the holidays.

Reduce Expectations

Michelle W.

Reduce expectations. Provide a quiet zone to escape from chaos and confusion.

Denise B.

One thing we started a while back was giving our children memories instead of presents. We go on vacation during the school break. After the first year they loved it! Instead of iPods that are broken by March, they get a family vacation and tons of memories! It also saved us from a bit of the unwanted drama of certain family members! Bonus!

Jessica G.

Visual schedule for the holiday including favorite activities!

Judy H.

We stopped doing large parties. We have a nice holiday routine. If there is any variation to our routine we discuss it with our children so they know what to expect. If we chose to attend a larger party, we have an exit plan that involves us taking two cars. If my son has had enough, one of us leaves and takes him home and the other one stays and enjoys the party more with our other children. We also establish, before the party or event, which parent is leaving and my son knows he can just say he wants to go home. Sometimes he’s too overwhelmed. In those cases, we prompt him to leave and he’s usually happy to leave the chaos. We call it “divide and conquer”. It’s the only way we have been able to enjoy life while living with Autism.

Assign Roles

Cheryl R.

My son and I have friends over for dinner. My son uses his step-by-step button with the Thanksgiving prayer or blessing pre-recorded and he is in charge of the blessing.

Julie A. C.

We try to not overbook: one event per day. We try to set them up for success. With as much fruits and veggies as we can leading up to wherever we are going because, invariably, they find sweets at a party. And we don’t stay out late at a party with the kids. At home during the season we have a dance party with Christmas music and let off steam and exercise.

Let off Steam

Renee P.

I plan all year using organized christmas.com. My being calm keeps the household calm. Kids love the traditions.

Sharon M.

Don’t over load your child, or yourself. If you are hosting at your home, delegate some of the tasks. This not only makes more time for you to deal with unexpected issues with your child, but also takes some stress from you as well.

Music Heals

Elizabeth F.

I play Christmas music a lot. Music stimulates all areas of the brain, and is very healing when it is loving, balanced and harmonious. All of the Christmas songs that we listen to year after year bring back the good memories and feelings we had the previous years. I also make sure that I have small and simple musical instruments in the car and in the home. This way, at any time, we are able to joyfully participate with the holiday music. This is our tradition, and it does not involve too much food, sugar cookies, or too many toys. Just expressing the essence of the spirit of the Season through listening and celebrating happy sounds.

Yolanda D.

Just relax. It happens every year. Before you start anything you know will be stressful, take a few nice deep breaths and remind yourself you can get through it. Make a list of what you need to do and start checking things off when you concur them. Less is more, unless it’s food and you’re feeding an army. Good food, good company, and WiFi or Netflix helps my autistic son stay happy. He loves the holidays and he helps decorate. I think his favorite thing is the lights. He will plug them in and then I see him get excited; he knows Santa will be coming soon. He is also a big fan of the Polar Express. I know it’s hard with an autistic child to go out and about. Sometimes you feel like a prisoner in your own home. We treat our son as normal as possible so it’s easier to blend in then stand out. It’s hard when you go to Walmart and your kids don’t get what they want. It creates a big scene when they have a meltdown. I don’t enjoy everyone staring at my family…it’s not like they have never heard a kid cry. Teaching my son the ways of the world is hard, but I want him to enjoy this big world and not hide him from it. Headphones are amazing for my son. Keep calm and carry on. Holidays are meant for good times. Everything is easier said than done. Happy Holidays to all. Make sure you’re always spreading joy, love and understanding.

FREE DOWNLOAD: PSN Holiday Tip Guide

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This post originally appeared on our November/December 2014 Magazine