Sex Education for Special Needs Children
In many school districts, Sexual Education begins in fifth grade. Parents find their nightly talks with their children punctuated by “ew’s,” “no ways,” “disgusting,” or “bring it on.” A roller-coaster of emotions and questions can occur during this time. Reactions may also change daily, based on the teachings of that day. For those who have never broached the subject of sexuality with their children, this becomes a whole new world to navigate.
What about when the child has special needs? Should he or she still sit in with the class to learn about this topic? Is it better to avoid the subject or to teach it one-on-one to the child?
Of course, each case, just like each child, is different. As a parent, you have the choice whether to include your child with the class as they learn about Sexual Education. One comforting fact for most parents is that classes are typically gender isolated. Boys will be separated from girls, eliminating much embarrassment and hopefully making it easier to ask questions.
[1]You may also be surprised at what your child has heard from friends at school. Sometimes it is harmless playdates where siblings of a playmate may provide unknown information. Your special needs child may know more than you think, but processing this information may be even more difficult.
Another issue to understand is how puberty may differ according to various special needs. For example:
- Children with cerebral palsy have longer puberty cycles, beginning earlier and ending later – although Caucasian girls may not get their periods until more than a year after their friends.
- Idiopathic precocious puberty has a 20% higher incidence in girls with spina bifida. [1]
- Latex allergies are also more common in people with spina bifida, and, if that is the case, the child needs to understand about using non-latex condoms.
These are only some of the many differences that could occur with your child. In the guide “Sexuality Education for Students with Disabilities,” links are provided for additional resources for many specific conditions.[2]
Sexual Risks, Assault, and Abuse
No one wants to think about the negative aspects of having sex. Some risks include sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), pregnancy, abuse, and assault. A child who has never been taught about sex may not realize that he or she is being assaulted. According to some reports, children with disabilities have a two times greater chance of being sexually abused.
Here are some reasons why teens with disabilities have a higher risk of STDs, pregnancy, and assault: [3]
- Impulsive behaviors
- Poor social skills
- Inability to recognize social clues
- Poor organizational skills
In 2016, STD (chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis) rates rose for the third straight year – nearly 20 million new cases. Individuals between the ages of 15 and 24 accounted for 65% of 2015 chlamydia cases and 50% of those diagnosed with gonorrhea. One out of every two sexually active individuals will contract some form of STD by age 25.
These numbers are staggering, even with Sexual Education being taught in the schools.
What can you do to help prepare your child for what could happen?
Knowledge is always power, even when you are concerned that the message cannot get through. Remember, if you do not teach, they cannot learn. What a child does not ever learn can hurt them more than trying to understand a difficult concept.
How Do You Teach Your Child About Sex Ed at Home?
The internet is a treasure trove of information that can help you, as a parent, teach your child about Sexual Education. It is also recommended that you begin these lessons before the child has the opportunity to learn about sexual education in school.
In their guide “Sexuality and Disability: A Guide for Parents,” Alberta Health Services provides information to help you explain the stages of social and sexual development at every age. [4]
They offer tips and strategies that parents can use as toddlers begin to explore their bodies all the way up to handling puberty and adolescence. The guide clearly points out that even with a disability, all humans progress through various stages of social and sexual development.
Three key messages in their guide focus on:
- Touches that are important and good
- Touches that are hurtful and not good
- A definition of child sexual abuse
In addition to the excellent information presented in this guide, there are additional links to other online resources.
- Sex Education: Teaching the most vulnerable [2]
- Puberty and Hygiene: How to Support Our Children [3]
- Puberty Help! Great Books to Help You with Questions and Challenges [4]
- Puberty Tips for you and your Special Needs Daughter [5]
- The Importance of Teaching Children Body Safety [6]
- Digital Safety: An Ongoing Conversation [7]
Important Take-Aways about Sexual Education for the Special Needs Child
It is never too early to begin discussing Sexual Education with your child. The links provided below will take you to some excellent resources for what to say – and when to say it.
[8]Yes, you may find the conversations uncomfortable – but, so do all parents. It is never easy to discuss sex with your children.
Be prepared for unexpected questions, such as “can I watch you and dad (or mom) do it.” Yes, children have been known to ask questions such as this of their parents. You will find some excellent guidelines about preparing for this time in a publication provided by Advocates for Youth.[5]
There are some excellent resources online to inform and prepare you, as well as help you explain and teach sexual education to your child.
Preparing your child throughout his or her life for all possibilities is not always easy, but it is important. We hope that the many resources we provide will help simplify navigating this difficult subject for you and your child.
[9]
To learn more about the science of happiness, check out these websites:
- http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/118/1/398.full?h its=20&FIRSTINDEX=0&FULLTEXT=sexuality%20disability&SE ARCHID=1169481509564_850&gca=pediatrics%253B118%252 F1%252F398 [10]
- https://www.parentcenterhub.org/sexed/ [11]
- http://missourifamilies.org/features/adolescentsarticles/ adolesfeature16.htm [12]
- http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/publicationsa-z/2560 [13]
- http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/disabsex.htm [14]
- https://www.disabled-world.com/disability/sexuality/ [15]
[16]
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- Summer Internet Surfing Keeping Kids Safe Online [18]
- BODY SAFETY BE AWARE: Some General Tips and Guidelines [19]
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- How Bullying Has Affected My Daughter’s Life [21]
- How to Help Students with Special Needs Avoid Bullying [22]
- BULLYING: A Real Threat to Your Child & Strategies for Preventing It from Happening [23]
- How to Identify Bullying {Tip 25-31} [24]
- Subtle Abuse [25]
- Advice Needed! Legal Actions for Abuse in Classroom [26]
- Restraints in School: What Can You Do? [27]
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This post originally appeared on our March/April 2018 Magazine [29]