Kelvin Fields
[1]This year Kelvin’s wife, DeeWanda, submitted her story to us about her remarkable husband. A man whose selfless acts of love, honor and commitment make him very derserving of being this year’s Super Dadvocate. Oftentimes, it is the tireless, everyday things that have to keep on being accomplished in order to hold families together. These, sometimes, go unsung, but, to us, they are so important. Read DeeWanda’s heartfelt story and see if you don’t agree…
In order for you to understand the dad/man Kelvin has become, I have to take you back to the young man he use to be. Hi met Kelvin our last year in college. When we met I was getting over a relationship with a guy that dumped me for being sick. He, literally, left me while I was in the hospital.
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I was still mad and angry at him and at life that when I met Kelvin I didn’t want to tell him I had a chronic illness. When I was nine months old, I was diagnosed with a painful disease called Sickle Cell Anemia. A disease that can cause debilitating pain, infections, seizers, pneumonia or brain injury at any time. So, of course, the very thing I was trying to hide happens! I was admitted into Forest General Hospital with a pain crisis, and I did not want to tell him. My sister (who knew I was in love with him) came to stay with me. While I was asleep she told him everything about my disease and me. When I woke up there was a knock at my door and he walked in smiling. From that very day he has loved me through numerous pain crises, infections, hospital stays and the list goes on. The way he loved me through all of this showed me what kind of husband and father he would be.
After we married, my doctor told us we shouldn’t conceive because it could possibly kill me. We both grew up deeply rooted in the church and it is our undying faith. In 2005, with some complications, we had our first son Kelvin (KJ) Fields II and in 2008 we had Kelsey Fields. Everything was normal and we were your typical family. I taught at our local school and Kelvin was a Supervisor at Sanderson Farms. Fast forward to 2012!
[3]Kelvin , Kelsey (left); KJ (right)
Life Can Change in an Instant
A lot happened over those years, including tragedy! I had to stop teaching because of my health and Kelvin left Sanderson Farms and became a Psych Assistant at a mental rehab school for teens. For extra money he became a referee for South Mississippi Middle and High Schools. That May our lives really changed!
KJ was returning from our Aunt’s house (she lives directly in front of us) on his go-cart. While he was crossing the road a car hit him. Most of the impact was to the back of the cart; if she were ONE second later the accident would have been avoided. Upon impact, while still on the go-cart, KJ slid 55 feet! He had a concussion, a collapsed lung, a piece of his pelvic bone was broken off and a fractured spine. My Dad, KJ’s “Paw-Paw” got to him first and started mouth to mouth. As my Dad did CPR, you could hear the air coming right back out of his chest. I will never forget that sound; gurgling blood and fluid. I knew CPR but, when it’s your child, the child who walked before he crawled; the child who holds your hand in church; the child who expects US, his parents, to keep the bad things away,…the training left me. KJ had to be air lifted to UMMC in Jackson, Mississippi, which is four hours away. Unfortunately, we could not ride with him. We were in limbo and we didn’t know if our son would live or die. Kelvin never let go of my hand, and from that day forward he put us all on his shoulders and to this day he still carries us.
Kelvin became a “vesselofinformation”…
We had to prepare to face our son as his doctors slowly pulled him out of his medically induced coma. We had to put on brave faces and mask the pain we were in for him. We knew absolutely nothing
[4] about Spinal Cord Injury in kids. Kelvin researched the Internet day and night. He became a walking vessel of information and prepared this family for the worse part…. the unknown “day to day”.
When we got home, Kelvin started modifying our home; everything that would make KJ feel abnormal he changed. He also started looking into wheelchair basketball and all other sports for the disabled. On one of KJ’s numerous appointments to UMMC, KJ’s doctor told Kelvin about a couple from Tennessee who were starting up a wheelchair basketball team. Kelvin took KJ to the Mississippi Wheel Cats tryouts. KJ made the team! It was amazing and our lives started to begin again!
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Kelvin spent hours with KJ teaching him and coaching him. They would stay outside shooting hoops until the sun went down. Kelvin has always coached both of our sons in every sport they’ve played in. KJ is now an awesome hardworking student and athlete. He has won numerous awards in basketball and it all started with Dad’s research those late nights while we all were sleeping. He has been invited twice to CAF’s Annual Triathlon! This is the day they have their Walk or Run and each year Kelvin runs right beside KJ’s wheelchair. It is a beautiful thing to witness and every time I cry. They also have hand cycling (disabled) and bike riding (able body). This is where you pledge time (minutes or hours) and the longer you ride the more money is donated to CAF. Each year KJ has pledged 45 minutes. Yes, he hand cycles for 45 minutes with his Dad right beside him on the ground cheering him on. In the picture, KJ was so tired he almost couldn’t smile!
This past Winter KJ had the opportunity to go to Florida to work with Barwis Methods! They specialize in Neurological Reengineering, which isthe process of implementing the cutting-edge Barwis Applied Scientific Techniques and the Barwis Methods to increase a person’s neuromuscular activation and control. This is the core of the injury recovery programs where they help the brain to relocate, activate, and control muscle fibers. Their strength coaches are hands-on and provide applied methods of reestablishing and creating pathways to increase neural stimulus and motor control.
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Life Hit Us Again…
Kelvin and I put fundraisers together and when we finally made it to St. Lucie, Florida, I homeschooled our boys and Kelvin drove KJ back and forth to training everyday. Then life hit us again! I had to go into the hospital…twice! The first time was for a typical Sickle Cell bad pain crisis. I had to get a blood transfusion, Meds, and fluids. When I was discharged the last day we noticed my arm was swollen but we didn’t think it was serious. Little did we know I would be fighting for my life three days later. I was having a hard time breathing that day and my swollen arm was bigger, in fact, my whole body was bigger. I went to the bathroom and when I came out I stopped breathing. While in and out of consciousness, I could see my husband on the phone with the paramedics with tears running down his face. When I came to again, I felt him breathing for me all while my kids where screaming in the background. I woke up a week later in the ICU. I stayed in ICU for almost three weeks. I had to have my port removed because it got infected, I had double pneumonia, swelling on my brain, and I found out I had a weak heart. During this time (almost two months) I saw my husband everyday! He is my hero and I love him with every fiber of my being. He had to witness his wife cling to life, be hospitalized, and transition to rehab to learn how to walk, talk, and think again. He had to drive KJ back and forth everyday to training, school our other son and then drive another 25 minutes to see me everyday. He had to pick up where I left off while also carrying his overwhelming schedule. We were 12 hours away from home and our family. As women, we kind of get all the credit but Dadvocates are out there and my husband proves that. He loves being a Dad. It gets hard sometimes and life takes us through some valleys but if it weren’t for Kelvin, we would still be in one of those valleys. He continues to be this family’s bright light and we are so Blessed to see that light shine everyday!
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This post originally appeared on our May/June 2016 Magazine [21]