Photo from left to right: Justin Davner (boyfriend), McKenzie Foster (daughter), Erin Foster (mom), Kyle Foster (son).
How I was able to find love again and my boyfriend loves both my children.
My name is Erin Foster I am a single mother of two wonderful kids Kyle who is 12 and in 6th grade and McKenzie who is 10 and in 5th grade. McKenzie is my daughter who has special needs. She was diagnosed with epilepsy and then cerebral palsy.
I wanted to write about my journey through divorce and how I was able to not only find love again but have my boyfriend love both my children.
Where do I start?
McKenzie was born at 33 weeks old and was in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for 2 weeks. Her big brother was one year old at the time. It was very hard having a child sick in the hospital and a one-year-old at home. It was a bit later in her life that she was diagnosed with epilepsy, this was at 8 months old. She was diagnosed with CP (cerebral Palsy) at 15 months.
McKenzie’s disability put a big strain on my marriage that was already on the rocks. When I finally decided to leave, I didn’t know how I was going to make it with 2 kids. I was married for 11 years.
I could not have made it without the help my family and my best friend. As I was learning to be my own best friend, it was my best friend who introduced me to my now boyfriend of 4 years.
I was scared to introduce him to McKenzie at first because I figured he would find out how much it takes to have a child with a disability. So, we took it slow. It started that he would come to my son’s baseball games with my best friend’s husband on their motorcycles. McKenzie knew he was there and slowly got used to knowing he would be there.
Through it all, he never missed a beat.
He helps McKenzie with her Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy at home, He helps with homework as needed mostly math! He has been there for the surgeries McKenzie has gone through and this has helped McKenzie know she can trust him.
McKenzie loves him and in fact as we were being photographed for the Back to School Issue of Parenting Special Needs Magazine, McKenzie had to call and talk to him after she was done with her photoshoot. She was smiling ear to ear to tell him about it all.
I never thought I would ever find someone to support me and my kids like he does. I truly could not be happier.
I wanted to share our story to give hope to others and to let others know that having a special needs child and a new relationship does take some work. And trust. I, myself, have trust issues from a past relationship so building trust was a process but he was patient with me as I was working on myself.
I want to share that it is important not to rush anything, to take things one step at a time.
It worked well for us.
My kids and I could not be happier.
[1]
Source:
Tips 1-3 from Understanding the Emotional World Of Children. [2]
Tips 4-5 from Can Your Thoughts Impact Your Child’s Behavior? [3]
https://www.parentingspecialneeds.org/article/date-night-ideas-exhausted-parents/
https://www.parentingspecialneeds.org/article/vows-special-needs-parents/
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